The practice of the love of Jesus Christ - 107

"Charity endureth all things"

HE THAT LOVES JESUS CHRIST WITH A STRONG LOVE DOES NOT CEASE TO LOVE HIM IN THE MIDST OF TEMPTATIONS AND DESOLATIONS

I. When a soul that loves God finds herself in this state of darkness, uncertainty, and fear, she must not lose courage; and neither must he who directs her become alarmed. Those sensual movements, those temptations against Faith, those feelings of distrust, and those attacks which urge her to hate Almighty God, are fears, are tortures of the soul, are efforts of the enemy; but they are not voluntary, and therefore they are not sins. The sincere lover of Jesus Christ resists valiantly on such occasions, and withholds all consent to such suggestions; but because of the darkness which envelops her she knows not how to distinguish, her soul is thrown into confusion, and the privation of the presence of Divine grace makes her fearful and sad. But it can be soon discovered that in these souls, thus tried by God, all is dread and apprehension, but not truth: only ask them, even in their state of desolation, whether they would willingly commit one single deliberate venial sin; they will reply that they are ready to suffer not one, but a thousand deaths, rather than be guilty of giving such displeasure to Almighty God.

II. It is necessary, therefore, to make this distinction, that it is one thing to perform an act of virtue, such as to repel a temptation, to trust in God, to love God, and to will what He wills; and it is another thing to have the consciousness of really making these good acts. This consciousness of doing good contributes to our pleasure; but the profit consists, not in our being conscious of doing good, but in actually doing good. God is satisfied with our doing good, but deprives the soul of the consciousness of doing it in order thus to remove from her all self-satisfaction, which, of course, adds nothing to the merit of the good action; for our Lord ever desires our real advantage more than our satisfaction. St. John of the Cross wrote the following words to comfort a desolate soul: "You were never in a better state than at present; for you were never so deeply humbled, and so cut off from all attachment to this world, and at the same time you were never so thoroughly impressed with the conviction of your own wickedness. Neither were you ever so divested and purified of all self-seeking as now." Let us, then, not believe that when we feel a greater tenderness of devotion we are more beloved by God; for perfection does not consist in that, but in the mortification of our own will, and in its union with the will of God.