Death is not the fit time for repairing the past

A dying man may appear to have true and sincere sorrow for the wickedness of his past life. But is his sorrow true sorrow? The wailings of many careless Christians on their death bed do not proceed from sorrow but from fear. As St. Augustine says; They are not afraid of sin but of burning.

The time a careless Christian will have when death comes will not be fitted for settling troubles of conscience. First of all the time itself will be very short; for at the commencement, and for some days during the progress of the disease, the sick man thinks only of physicians, of remedies, and of making his last will. During that time his relatives, friends, and even the physicians deceive him by holding out hopes of recovery. Hence, deluded by these hopes, he will not be able for some time to persuade himself that his death is near at hand. When will he begin to persuade himself that death is near? Only when he will be at the very point of death. This is another reason why that time is unfit for repairing the evils of the soul. At that time the dying man is sick in mind as well as in body. He will be assailed by pains in the chest, debility, spasms, and delirium. These will render him unable to make any effort to excite true detestation of his past sins, or to apply to the disorders of his past life a remedy which will calm the terrors of his conscience. The news of his approaching death will astound him to such a degree that he will scarcely be alive at all.

A person labouring under a severe headache, which deprives him of sleep for two or three nights, will not even attempt to dictate a letter. And at death, when he feels but little, understands but little, and sees only a medley of things which fills him with terror, the careless Christian begins to settle a conscience burdened with the sins of thirty or forty years. Then are verified the words of the Gospel: The night cometh when no man can work (Jo. ix. 4). Then his conscience will say to him: Now thou canst be steward no longer (Luke xvi. 2). There is no more time for negotiation; what is done, is done! When distress cometh upon them they will seek for peace, and there shall be none. Trouble shall come upon trouble (Ezech. vii. 25, 26).

We often hear it said that some person who led a bad life afterwards died a good death; that by his sighs and tears he gave proof of his sincere repentance. The wailings of such persons proceed not from sorrow for their sins but from the fear of imminent death, says St. Augustine. He was not afraid of sinning, says the holy Doctor, but of burning. Till that moment the dying man loved sinful objects: will he then detest them? Perhaps he will then love them with more tenderness; for the objects of our affections become more dear to us when we are afraid of losing them. The celebrated master of St. Bruno died with signs of repentance; but from his coffin he spoke and said he was damned. If at the hour of death, even the Saints lament that on account of the state of the head they can think but little of God, or make but little effort to excite good acts, how can the negligent Christian make these acts at death, when he was not in the habit of making them during life? It may be said that he appeared to have a sincere sorrow for the wickedness of his past life. But, was his sorrow true sorrow? The devil persuades him that the wish to have sorrow is true sorrow; but he deceives him. The dying man will say: "I am sorry from the bottom of my heart," but these words shall come from a heart of stone. From the midst of the rocks they shall give forth their voices (Ps. viii. 12). But he has been frequently at Confession, and has received all the Sacraments; he has died in perfect resignation. Ah! the criminal who goes to be executed appears to be perfectly resigned: but why? Because he cannot escape from the officers of justice, who bring him in chains to the place of execution.

II. O moment on which Eternity depends! This moment made the Saints tremble at the hour of death, and made them exclaim: "O God, where shall I be in a few hours?" "Sometimes," says St. Gregory, "the soul even of the just man is disturbed by the terror of vengeance." What, then, shall the careless Christian, who has disregarded God, feel when he sees the scaffold prepared on which he must die? His eyes shall see his own destruction, and he shall drink of the wrath of the Almighty (Job xxi. 20). He shall see with his own eyes death prepared for his soul, and shall from that moment begin to feel the anger of the Lord. The Viaticum which he must receive, the Extreme Unction which will be administered to him, the Crucifix placed in his hands, the recommendation of the soul which is read by the assisting priest, the lighting of the blessed candle — all these shall form, as it were, the scaffold of Divine justice. The poor sick man perceives that he is already in a cold sweat, that he can no longer move or speak, that his breathing has begun to fail: in a word, he sees that the moment of death is at hand; his soul defiled with sins; the Judge waiting for him; hell opening under his feet; and in this confusion of darkness and terror he shall enter into Eternity.

Oh, that they would be wise, and would understand, and would provide for their last end (Deut. xxxii. 29). Behold, how the Holy Ghost exhorts us to provide now for the terrible straits and distress by which we shall be encompassed at death, and to adjust at once the accounts we must render to God; for it will be then impossible to settle these accounts so as to save our souls.

My crucified Jesus, I will not wait till death to embrace Thee; I embrace Thee at this moment. I love Thee above all things; and because I love Thee I repent with my whole heart of all the offences and insults I have offered to Thee, Who art infinite goodness; and I purpose and hope, with Thy grace, to love Thee always and never more offend Thee. Through the merits of Thy Passion I ask Thee to assist me.