Presence of God

O Lord, make me persevere in seeking You and in serving You, in spite of all the difficulties which I may encounter.

Meditation

I. St. Teresa says that anyone who wishes to give himself to prayer with prof it must make "an earnest and most determined resolve not to halt" on the way he has chosen. This means that we must give ourselves to prayer, not for a stated time only, but at all times, every day, all our life; let us not be dissuaded from prayer for any reason whatsoever. "Come what may, happen what will, let those complain who will, tire yourself as you must, but even if you die halfway along the road... tend always toward the goal" (Way, 21). Let us ever remember that this goal is the living water promised by Jesus to those who sincerely thirst for Him and His love.

Without a strong, determined resolve, the soul will too often find more or less plausible reasons for neglecting prayer. Sometimes aridity will make the soul think that it is a waste of time to devote itself to an exercise from which it seems to draw no fruit, and that it would be better to use this time in good works. Sometimes, too, our numerous employments will seem to justify this idea. At other times, the feeling of our wretchedness—especially when we consider our want of fidelity to grace—will make us think ourselves unworthy of divine intimacy and that, therefore, it is useless to persevere in prayer. It should be evident that all these pretexts are suggestions of the enemy who, sometimes under the pretext of zeal for exterior works, sometimes under that of false humility or of waste of time, does all he can to draw souls away from prayer. "No temptation," declares St. Teresa, "is more serious" than this one, "and the devil does us the very greatest harm by it" (cf. Life, 7-8). Therefore, she insists : "One who has begun to make mental prayer must never give it up, in spite of the sins into which he may fall. Prayer is the means which will help him to rise. Without prayer, this would be more difficult. He should not allow himself to be deceived by the devil to abandon prayer under the pretext of humility" (ibid., 8).

II. Even if the soul has fallen into aridity through its own fault, it should not neglect prayer, but should persevere in it in spite of the violence it will have to do to itself and the strong repugnances which must be overcome. "If that soul perseveres, notwithstanding the sins, temptations, and falls of a thousand kinds into which the devil leads it, the Lord, I am certain, will bring it to the harbor ofsalvation" (ibid.). Accept the torture of having to spend the time of prayer in complete aridity, and moreover, with the pain of feeling yourself so unlike to God and so unworthy of Him in whose presence you are; accept the reproaches of your conscience for your infidelities, and offer them all to the Lord in expiation for your faults and omissions, and to obtain the grace to amend your life. Never weary of repeating with a sincere heart the prayer of the publican : "Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner" (Lc. 18, 13); and God, who loves those who humbly recognize their own wretchedness, will not fail to come to your aid. However, you must learn to wait patiently for the time fixed by Him. St. Teresa of Jesus spent nearly eighteen years in such aridity. "Many times" says the Saint, "I would have gladly endured the most severe penances rather than try to recollect myself to make prayer. I needed to summon all my courage to force myself, so unbearable was the temptation of the devil to leave off prayer." But, she concludes, "the Lord Himself helped me" (Life, 8). This was the reward of her fidelity.

The Saint has, therefore, all the authority which comes from experience, to insist that never, for any motive, should we give up prayer. And she strongly recommends it, saying : "Do not tarry on the way, but strive like strong men until you die in the attempt, for you are here for nothing else than to strive" (Way, 20).

We can likewise apply the words of Jesus to prayer: "The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent bear it away" (Ml. 11, 12).

Colloquy

"O Lord, I know that in order that love be true and friendship lasting, equal conditions must exist between the two friends. I also know that there can be nothing wrong in You; while my nature, on the contrary, is vicious, sensual, and ungrateful... Hence I cannot love You as You deserve.

"O infinite goodness of my God! I see who You are and who I am, and seeing how different You are from me, O joy of the angels, I long to be wholly consumed in love for You! How true it is that You bear with those who permit You to be with them! How good a friend You are to them! How You lavish Your favors upon them and bear with them, and wait until their ways become more like Yours. You remember the time spent in loving You, and at the first sign of repentance, You forget all their offenses. This I know from experience, and I do not understand, O my Creator, why the whole world does not strive to draw near You in this intimate friendship. The wicked, who are not like You, ought to come so that You may make them good, allowing You to be with them, at least two hours each day, even though they are not with You but with a thousand cares and thoughts of the world, as I used to be. In exchange for the effort which it costs them to want to be in such good company (for You know that in the beginning they cannot do more, nor afterwards sometimes) You force the devils not to attack them, and make the devils every day less strong against them, and give these souls strength to conquer them. Yea, Life of all lives, You slay none of those who put their trust in You and desire You for their Friend" (T.J. Life, 8).

O Lord, give me also that holy audacity which will make me always persevere in prayer, in spite of exterior and interior difficulties, aridities, weakness, and lack of correspondence with Your grace... You will remedy all my ills.