True glory

PRESENCE OF GOD - O Jesus, who, for love of me, accepted the disgrace of death on the Cross, teach me what true glory is, and grant that for love of You I may learn how to overcome my desire for honor.

MEDITATION

1. St. Teresa of Jesus declares, “However slight may be our concern for our reputation," if we “wish to make progress in spiritual matters,” we must “ put this attachment right behind us,” for “if questions of honor” prevail, we “will never make great progress or come to enjoy the real fruit of prayer,” which is intimacy with God. The Saint also says that the reason why many people who have devoted themselves to the spiritual life, and are deserving on account of so many good works, “are still down on earth” and never succeed in reaching “the summit of perfection,” is “ punctiliousness about their reputation. And the worst of it is that this sort of person will not realize that he is guilty of such a thing, the reason being that the devil tells him that punctiliousness is incumbent upon him” (Life, 31 - Way, 12).

Attachment to our honor is expressed in all those susceptibilities, large or small, arising from our attitude of soul that wishes to affirm our personality, hold on to the esteem we receive from others and make our own point of view prevail. This shows up concretely in various schemes—more or less conscious and petty—to obtain or to keep certain privileged and honorable positions where our own views, which we always think are good, will prevail. By this means, we hope to make manifest our capabilities, our works, and our personal merits—so great and worthy of consideration in our own eyes. All this remains more or less disguised by the fact that we have—or think we have—the intention of acting with an eye to good. We decide, therefore, that what we do is legitimate. Yet we are not aware that this way of acting, though apparently done to defend the good, prevent scandals, and further good works, is only a defense of our own pride. This truth is made evident, for on similar occasions, when like circumstances have been resolved, we do not take as much trouble to defend the honor and the works of others as we would have done if these had been our own. A soul that allows itself to be preoccupied with such things is, as St. Teresa of Jesus says, bound to earth by “a chain which no file can sever. Only God can break it, with the aid of prayer and great effort on our part” (Life, 31).

2. To find out if we are really detached from sensitiveness about honor, we should not rely on the desires which sometimes come to us during prayer and make us think that we are ready to bear any kind of humiliation or scorn. Instead we must find out what our attitude is at the critical moment when something wounds our pride. Then it will be easy to see that “we refuse to be thwarted over the very smallest matter of precedence: apparently such a thing is quite intolerable” (T.J. Way, 16). These more or less sharp reactions of our sensitiveness show us clearly that we are very far from crushing underfoot our concern about honor. Our awareness of these failings will be the starting point for correcting them, for the greatest obstacle to acquiring the virtues is the belief that we have already gained them and that it is no longer necessary, therefore, to practice them.

“God, deliver us,” exclaims St. Teresa, “from people who wish to serve You yet who are mindful of their own honor” (ibid., 12). We are trying to serve two incompatible masters at the same time—God and our own pride. Everything that a soul does to serve its ego and to defend its honor is taken away from the service of God, from the pure, sincere seeking of His honor and glory. Even if we sometimes seem to have real rights, it is only by sacrificing them, at least as far as our own person is concerned, that we shall attain to the liberty of spirit necessary for a deep interior life. Preoccupation with the defense of our rights continually distracts us from our ideal of union with God, deprives us of interior peace, and finally, involves us in so many worldly cares that it will often be an occasion of failing in charity and even in justice toward our neighbor. For it is very difficult, if not impossible, to keep up the defense of our own rights without more or less injuring the rights of others.

COLLOQUY

“O Lord, art Thou our example and our Master? Thou art, indeed. And wherein did Thy honor consist, O Lord, who hast honored us? Didst Thou perchance lose it when Thou wert humbled even to death? No, Lord, rather didst Thou gain it for all.... God grant that no soul be lost through its attention to these wretched niceties about honor, when it has no idea wherein honor consists... . O Lord, all our trouble comes from not having our eyes fixed upon Thee, we stumble and fall a thousand times and stray from the way” (ibid., 36 — 16).

“We are trying to attain to union with God. We want to follow the counsels of Christ on whom were showered insults and false witness. Are we, then, really so anxious to keep intact our own reputation and credit? We cannot do so and yet attain to union, for the two ways diverge. When we exert our utmost efforts and try in various ways to forego our rights, the Lord comes to the soul” (T.J. Life, 31).

O Jesus, grant that my honor may consist solely in intimate union with You, in the effort to become more and more like You. Although You were God and had the right to be treated and honored as God, You willed to be treated like the lowest of men! You wished no other right than to fulfill the will of the Father, to die on the Cross for His glory and our salvation. In the light of Your example, I have a better understanding of the meanness of my pride which, in order to defend foolish rights, loses itself in so much confusion and so many fruitless discussions. O Lord, why should I confine myself to crawling on the ground among the thorny roots of my passions, when You have created me to soar in the heavens? Oh! help me to free myself from the vain pretenses of my ego which, like a heavy weight, continually try to drag me down; help me to get rid of this great load, and to rise toward You, my God, in a sure flight!